She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
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