Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
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