Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
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