My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
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