I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
Randomize
