His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
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