If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
Randomize
