Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
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