you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
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