Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
I think I died a long time ago.
The girls stopped by my apartment. They caught me naked with a nearly empty bottle of vodka in one hand, drawing crop circles in the carpet with the vacuum.
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
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