I was high as a kite when I got pulled over by a cop and he asked me for my ID and if I had been smoking weed, I said no and gave him my debit card.
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
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