Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
Is Oprah even human
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
Randomize
