Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
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