do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
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