Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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