Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
Randomize
