But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
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