the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
