He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
