Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
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