I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize