Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize
