we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
Randomize
