dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
Randomize
