oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
Sorry my hands just texted you
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
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