Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
i've created a new STD.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
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