google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
The beers last night were like the tears from god
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
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