She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
