Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
Randomize
