ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
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