turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Randomize
