Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Randomize
