put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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