Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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