so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
Randomize
