Just made out with a pet sitter. His biz card says "even hamsters". Lowest point in my life.
covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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