The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Randomize
