the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize