Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
