The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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