Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
