hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
two words...techno handjob
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
Randomize