ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Randomize
