Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
Randomize
