singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
It's blow job season.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
Randomize
