i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
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