I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
Randomize
