i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Randomize
