We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
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