By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
Randomize
