Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
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