she woke up with a sticky ear
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
Randomize
