Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
Randomize