she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
Randomize
