WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
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