Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
Randomize
