i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
Randomize
