she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
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